HOT TAKE: The Challenge Vendettas recap – Czech Yourself

Half of $25K and a seat on a plane headed to the Czech Republic are up for grabs on tonight’s episode of the Challenge Vendettas. Last week we saw all the remaining contestants run a mini-final of sorts to determine who would be moving on and who would be sent home but we were left without the results. We know from last week that both the guy and the girl with the slowest times will immediately be sent home. No trip to the Czech Republic. No shot at $350K. First, TJ announces the winners and I am not at all surprised by who they are. For the guys, Zach is our champion. And for the ladies it’s none other than Staten Island Nicole Z. These two are probably the most physically dominant of the remaining challengers so again, no surprise here. They both can respectively dominate a physical challenge. Congrats you two, you each get some monies! Maybe Nicole can use some of that money to buy herself a new wardrobe – in her confessional she is wearing a shirt with her face on it. Ugghhh. I already instantly hear her accent the second I see her face so with this shirt out in the wild that just increases the chance my daily inner monologue gets a grating Staten Island accent…

As for our losers, the first one doesn’t surprise me either. For the girls it’s Jemmye. If I’m not mistaken this is yet another example of a time that Jemmye has managed to just kind of hang around right up until the end because no one really views her as a threat. Her game has largely been to team up with different coalitions of women to protect herself and just blend in as a seasoned vet. She doesn’t perform particularly well on any of the challenges but because she keeps her mouth shut no one really pays her any mind. Well that strategy works until you need to perform and when she needed to perform she didn’t quite deliver. Personally I am glad to see finally go. Ever since she joined the mean girl group that attacked and bullied Kayleigh I was ready for her to go. She never really got any flak for that either, which was surprising considering how easily she turned on Kayleigh. I sincerely hope this is the last challenge Jemmye does – does she even have a much of a fan base? Doubtful.

As for the guys, the two slowest finishers were only separated by 5 seconds. 5 SECONDS?! That is just brutal. Devin and Kyle finish at the bottom. With only a 5 second difference between the two I immediately wonder what could have been done just a teeny bit faster to finish faster. Lock into the zip line and tuck yourself in as you shoot the gap? Repel down the side of the bridge more quickly? Throw yourself across the finish line when it’s in sight? If Devin had just schemed to finish 5 seconds faster than I he would be going to the Czech Republic – but he didn’t. Despite Devin being incredibly annoying I think I’ll miss him. Someone on reddit pointed out that he was really the only challenger that kept things real and I agree. Dude was on the level. I’m positive we will see him again but for now we wave goodbye to the mastermind and congratulate Kyle on being just good enough to skirt by. We’re off to the Czech Republic!

devin
Goodbye Devin – till we meet again

In Prague the remaining challengers check in to their new digs and settle in. They have a challenge the very next day so there is no going out antics and the drinking is minimal – everyone has their eyes on the prize. We’re treated to a few segments on what each remaining challenger would do with the money if they won and the answers are somewhat predictable. Support my family, pay off debts, etc. However there were 2 notable answers among the group. The first belongs to Cara Maria who wants to use the money to finally build an obstacle course? Okay – I assume this is related to her fitness program du juor but still – is this really the best use? The other response I notice is Kam’s who said she would donate money to charity. That’s awesome and I think anyone who gets some sort of windfall should consider donating to a cause they support. Kam says she will donate to kids with cancer or kids that suffer from alopecia…hmmm…those two seem pretty different if you ask me. I’m not judging at all, both are worthy causes – I just don’t understand Kam’s thought process on this one. Maybe sleep on it?

When the challengers wake up they face their next challenge – Outside the Box. TJ tells the gang they will be dodging stacked boxes while being joined to truck traveling at 50 miles per hour. Damn! They just keep upping the ante on these challenges and this one seems like one of the more extreme challenges they’ve had in recent seasons (Survivor, looking at you here: Do better). Each challenger will be suspended mid-air on the side of a truck and have to move back and forth while the truck is at speed to avoid columns of boxes. Each column has a point value assigned to it and if you hit it, you get those points. The objective here is to have the lowest score possible to stay safe. Winning this challenge comes with a few perks, too. Each guy and girl with the best score will automatically be placed in the final and get a shot at the $350k. They will also split another $25k for the winning the event. I think their banks are safe at this point if they win so the money is theirs – its no longer a device that paints a target on your back.

Up first for the guys are Zach and Leroy. The two strap in and truck takes off accelerating to 50 miles an hour. Zach moves back and forth as best he can and makes it look so easy that Kyle remarks, “He looks like a proper action man!” Is this what they call action stars in the UK? Action Men? Because I love it. Leroy has a more difficult time and ends up getting stuck between the support beam and the truck. He becomes a hanging target and plows into several columns, earning him points and immediately dropping him into last place. Leroy just can’t catch a break. Next up is Nelson and Kyle. Kyle manages to duplicate Zach’s effort and knots a goose egg for himself. Nelson…is not as coordinated. He loses focus and hits a column very quickly into the competition, whoops. I think this column might be worth more than the 2 Leroy hit so maybe my boy Lee is safe now? I would love to swap Nelson for Leroy in the final. Last for the guys are Tony and Brad who each run through the course and avoid all the column. Impressive. Looks like Nelson will not be going to final, right?!?

Before we see the men’s results the women are up next. Killa Kam is up first along with Nicole. Kam is talking a good game about how she can’t make any more mistakes and she is more focused now than ever and then…hits some boxes and earns herself 4 points. Nicole on the other side of truck doesn’t come close to a box and earns the coveted zero. Cara Maria squares off against Kailah in round 2. Each avoids the boxes and each gets a zero. Now I’m worried Kam may not be going to the final and that’s a damn shame considering how much shit she had to go through to get here (3 eliminations in as many weeks and she still may not qualify for a final). I’m fully prepared for TJ to send Nelson and Kam home when he announces the competition is just getting started. That was just the first round? The announcement catches me and the challengers off guard but then I come to realize with so many perfect scores on the first round this makes sense. The winner is automatically in the final so they need to determine who that will be, duh. Round 2 means only one thing – more speed!

This time the girls are up first and right from the beginning I can tell this truck is now hauling ass. It is moving way faster than 50 mph (anyone get a speed check? I never heard what the second round speed was but if I had to guess I would think it’s like 70 or so…) and the challengers struggle to dodge all the boxes. It turns out that the human reaction time to move back and forth between a column and truck at speed is not great. Nicole and Kailah both hit boxes and Cara Maria fails to transfer (counts the same as hitting the boxes, minus the bruising) so it will come down to who got the least amount of points based on the column’s value. I think Cara Maria has it at this point but I’m not sure because the point system is confusing and I only saw it once.  Also at this speed it looks like it fucking hurts to collide with those boxes. I can’t imagine connecting with anything at 70 mph feels good. Full size body bruises anyone?

The boys are up next and they have the same results as the women – almost all of them hit a box. I say almost because somehow Tony has managed to miss all the boxes and looks to be our winner by default. Goddamit. I really don’t care for Tony at all. But here he is in his first final after today, sigh. For the girls, Cara Maria gets the win over the girls and I am okay with this. TJ tells Nelson to get lost since there are 6 guys – he won’t get a shot at redemption in the elimination event since he placed last – wahoo!!! I’m stoked to see Nelson go. He was the other guy I was actively rooting against outside of Terrible Tony. As for the girls, since there are only 4 girls left, they all get to go to the final! Killa Kam is safe!!! So now Tony and Kailah will form 2 parts of the last troika and be joined by…Cara Maria. Wow. Kailah somehow manages to come up big in the only challenge that really matters and wins a spot in her first final. Lots of new blood for this final it seems. You really gotta think if Joss had never ran into Derek he would be here, too. Poor Joss.

Competition
Our final group of scrappy challengers

This troika is the best troika to be a part of because there won’t be any revenge, game-wise, for the decision the group makes (mostly, more on this a bit later). TJ tells them that he need 1 dude’s name to save from the inquisition and he needs it now. The troika huddles and with Tony being the only guy he’s automatically the odd man out if the girls vote together. He won’t have a say in who the troika spares. Both Cara Maria and Kailah agree that out of all the guys remaining if they need to run the final with someone they want that someone to be Zach. Zach, by far the best player left standing in the game, will be spared from elimination and automatically placed in the final. Tony doesn’t like the move. You know why Tony doesn’t like the move? He can’t beat Zach in a final. Brad, Leroy and Kyle will be up for elimination and will have to plead their individual cases at the inquisition that night. The troika will need to select one more guy to save and have the two remaining challengers battle it out to earn the last spot in this season’s final.

At the inquisition Brad, Kyle and Leroy make their closing arguments. Brad has been placed in elimination a few times already this season so it’s a good bet that he will be going in again. Brad tells the group he’s going to use the money for his kids and that should deliver for Tony but because Tony is an asshole he doesn’t care and remains unmoved. Kyle is up next and he talks about how he’s changed from the beginning of this competition to now. This is all just a formality for Kyle though because he has been bonin’ Cara Maria for weeks now so because he has a dick he’s probably safe – forgone conclusion. This leaves my main man Leroy who basically tells the troika that he shouldn’t be going in. He’ had their backs, he’s played a fair game and he deserves to be in this final. This is easily the most assertive I have seen Leroy, ever. And honestly, it’s about damn time. Leroy knows how much he has been fucked over in the past and I like him telling each and every member of the troika that if he gets put in it’s a joke. He’s earned a spot in this final dammit. His reaction catches everyone at the table off guard but dude is right. If anyone is safe over him its bullshit.

Fast-forward to the elimination night and wouldn’t you know it – Tony fucks Leroy over. This dude is a real piece of shit. Oh, and Cara Maria is a piece of shit too. She also votes in Leroy. Kailah is apparently the only one with a conscious and votes Leroy safe and suddenly my opinion of Kailah is not as bad as it was just seconds ago. Now Cara Maria has my ire. As for Tony – Lee explodes on him. He calls him out in front of everyone for being a snake and coward. Leroy tells Tony that he would be good with Tony saying his name if he was honest about why he is saying it but Tony keeps avoiding the confrontation. Tony tells Leroy he didn’t like how aggressive Leroy was at the inquisition the night before and because of that he decided to put Leroy in the elimination. Come on Tony – that’s pretty damn weak. We all know you don’t want to go up against Leroy in a final – something Leroy calls him out for. Congratulations Tony, you just made yourself a new enemy. As for Brad, well we all knew he was going in all along so now Brad has to square up against a super-pissed Leroy in the final elimination. Sorry Brad.

Inquisition
Leroy’s eyes already calling Tony a bitch

Brad lost before TJ said the word “go”. Lee uses his anger to break through two walls, then bust up 2 additional balls to win the elimination and send Brad home right at the finish line. God that’s gotta suck.  As this is happening the camera pans over to Tony periodically who looks fairly uncomfortable with Lee’s domination. He’s just created a monster in Leroy and I have a feeling that all the bad karma Tony has built up to get himself here is going to catch up with him during the final. And every other challenge he participates in from now on because Tony made a fuck ton of enemies to get to this point. Hope it’s worth it Tony.

Now we have our cast for the final – Zach, Tony, Leroy, Kyle, Nicole, Kam, Cara Maria and Kailah. Who do you think has the edge going into the final that is not named Zach? I’m personally pulling for Leeroy and Kam on this one.

 

 

2 thoughts on “HOT TAKE: The Challenge Vendettas recap – Czech Yourself

  1. Some of your info is wrong. For example, Kailah won the challenge and Cara Maria joined the Troika. Cara Maria never hit any boxes but didn’t transfer.

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