We Got a Situation Here; Welcome back Jersey Shore

Parting is such sweet sorrow. When the original Jersey Shore crew signed off after 6 long seasons it seemed like it was time to let go. The jokes had worn thin, the cast could barely tolerate one another and Snooki had really dialed back her indecent behavior. The series finale was a far cry from when we were first introduced to our Jersey Shore summer share crew. We watched these kids grow up before our very eyes – and as they did their drunken antics become less and less entertaining. So, it was with a heavy heart that we finally heard Pauly D yell “Cabs are here!” one last time and we said farewell. Jersey Shore/my life was over.

Cabs

You can try and fight it but time oppressively marches on and obscures the memories of those we’ve loved and lost. Like you, I learned to replace the Jersey Shore with various different MTV reality shows. Each show looked to capture the bottled lightning that was the Jersey Shore, but each show couldn’t stick the landing. Buckwild introduced us to a rowdy bunch of rednecks hailing from a hollow in West Virginia, but the showrunners stopped producing after a tragic accident took the life of one of the co-stars, Shane “Gandy-Candy”. Undeterred to fill the ratings void left behind by the Jersey Shore MTV tried again with a show centered on eclectic Alaskan youth called Slednecks. I’m not sure what happened here but after one season MTV pulled the plug – probably a result of low ratings.

Slednecks
MTV’s Sledneck crew – where are they now?

Still there were other shows that tried to replace the Jersey Shore such as Big Tips Texas and Scrubbing In, but each show failed for the same reason. There is just no replacing the personalities on the Jersey Shore. How do you expect to find another Mike “The Situation”? Situations aren’t just lying around growing on trees waiting for a hungry producer to come along and pluck them. No. Situations are like diamonds – only years of extreme pressure experiencing forces beyond comprehension (tax fraud?) can produce something like Mike. Our situation.

I had accepted that MTV would keep throwing different casts from different backgrounds my way and that none of them would ever be as good as the Jersey Shore. How could anything possibly reach that level of excellence? Jersey Shore is a like a first love; there will be another after love later in your life but you’ll always compare that love to your first love.

So what happens when your first love inexplicably comes back into your life? In our case, the Jersey Shore; Family Reunion is just such an occurrence. WELCOME BACK TO JERZDAY! MTV, tired of reinventing the wheel, decided to dig the old wheel out of storage and give it one last spin. No, this isn’t some fever dream where you suddenly wake up drenched in sweat, wondering why you’re in bed when but a moment ago you were at the shore house slamming Ron-Ron Juice. MTV is gracing us with a new season of the Jersey Shoret!

18-jersey-shore.w710.h473
Prepare for Jersey Shore to take over Twitter once more

We learned that we won’t be in our beloved Seaside Heights this season but we will still be visiting a familiar locale: Miami, baby! The last time we were here things did not go especially well for our group of Italian Stallions. It was mostly just Ronnie and Sammie Sweetheart fighting and breaking up and getting back together and breaking up again. Still, that experience was so visceral you felt like you were the third leg of that disastrous tripod. If MTV can bring even a tenth of that feeling (cue to “Cut to the Feeling” by Carly Rae Jepsen) to this new season of Jersey Shore than it is going to be a run-away hit once more. This is going to be so good there is no possible way this latest installment of Jersey Shore won’t deliver. I have no idea what we are in store for this season but I gotta say – after saying goodbye to my dear friends so long ago it’s fucking great to see them again. Especially Vinny. There’s so much to catch up on and so little time. Savor the flavor on this one folks – we’ve been gifted a bonus-Jonas season of the Jersey Shore seemingly out of nowhere – right when we needed it the most.

2 thoughts on “We Got a Situation Here; Welcome back Jersey Shore

  1. Let’s never forget the true beginnings of Jersey Shore. Tommy from True Life’s summer share. They should bring him into the mix for this season.

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    1. God I would love that so much. Tommy who laid brick all year just so he could go to the Shore and find love? The man who started it all. His love for cheeeeezebawls was second only to his love of Kangol hats. They really should throw that guy into the mix – he’d fit right in. I wonder what ever happened to him. I’ll probably have to do a write up on him.

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